I was looking for answers for my son. Instead I found myself
“Why won’t he sit still? I wonder if he has ADHD?”
My 7 year old son was so fidgety. He wouldn’t sit still for a second when we were sitting down to read or watch TV. It drove me crazy.
I knew that fidgeting is a trait of ADHD, so i decided to have a look online. Could Google tell me why he did this?
As I read through articles and “15 Signs you have ADHD” lists, a bigger, unexpected question was forming…
Wait…. that’s me… I do all these things. Do I have ADHD?
I read more and more, and become increasingly certain.
This would explain EVERYTHING
…the erratic career path
…the wild enthusiasm followed by complete lack of interest for so many hobbies, projects, people, dreams…
…the messiness, crap time keeping, awful money management, absent mindedness that I’d always been led to believe were personal flaws…
…the impulsive, compulsive, self destructive behaviour that had lain waste to so much in my life…
Could this all really be explained by those four letters…. ADHD?
It was so clear.
I was elated. And devastated.
My head filled with a million “if only…” questions.
I wept for the girl I used to be, for the life I could have had.
But I realised… this is who I am. I don’t need to feel ashamed for this anymore.
I was never a bad person. The world wanted me to do things my brain couldn’t do.
ADHD makes life a lot harder much of the time.
But now I know there is nothing wrong with me. This is just how my brain works.
I am an ADHD woman. And I don’t need to pretend otherwise anymore
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